On the morning of Tuesday the 27th, one of the students of Janggok High School took his own life by jumping out of his apartment window. We are still unsure of the cause, but it is believed he had troubles at home which stemmed from his parent's divorce. His gruesome suicide was surprising to us all because, though he was a shy, quiet boy, he was always smiling at school and carried himself with pleasant ease. We suspected nothing, but I think that if we had paid a little more attention we might have glimpsed the tip of his deep melancholy. That is what has been bothering me the most.
He was one of my students. I should have looked better at him. I of all people know what it's like to be passed over by everyone, especially teachers because of my own quiet nature. But how could I? I have 40 students per class, and 23 classes a week. That's nearly 1,000 students!! I don't even know what he looks like. If I saw a picture of him I would know him instantly. I remember faces far better than names.
For most of the week I was worried that it was another student of mine that I have bonded with a bit that had died. But I saw that student today in the stairwell, alive and well, and as he gave me a smiling hello I was filled with relief. But I worry...I still don't know the dead student's face. I don't know who he was. I only know that he was mine. Knowing that, and the fact that he was so desperate at such a young age, is enough to make me mourn him. He was only 15 years old.
Though suicide is alarmingly common in Korea, this was the first such death at Janggok High. Let's hope it is the first and last of its kind.
And yet there is happiness here. I am reminded every day how much I love the kids here and how much most of them seem to love me, especially the girls and the younger boys. Several students have gone out of their way to see me between classes, or scream at me excitedly in the hallways. Groups often endured the cold to sit with me outside after lunch, and in our little town they call out and talk to me on the streets.
There is indeed much happiness and I find myself happier than I have been in years.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Building Relationships
I've been back in Korea for two months and though it's been busier than I could have imagined, it's also been so very wonderful!! Being in public school is a refreshing and rewarding job beyond comparison to the lowly, hellish hagwon job I held for so long. I know I made the right choice in aiming for public school, even if I'm not in the city I so very much desired. I can still see my friends on the weekends and a sometimes during the week if I don't mind riding the bus and subway for an hour and a half!
My current residence is Siheung, a small region in Gyeonggi-do, the province that surrounds the cities of Incheon and Seoul. I live in a small neighborhood called Janggok-dong. It's more of a little town really, but don't let the size fool you. It has plenty of restaurants, bars, noraebong (karaoke rooms) and coffee shops. It also has martial arts hagwons for such things as taekwondo and kumdo. I'm quite happy with it because there's just enough to do and I'm surrounded by countryside.
My school is nice sized with around 1,000 students. So far I have established a universal likability among the students, even those whom I don't directly teach. I have also proven my amiable personality to my Korean co-teachers, and the word has spread to those teachers who do not speak English that I am a good person and teacher, easy to get along with and talk to. I have especially developed a rapport with my main co-teacher, the one assigned to ensure my well-being and legal requirements, named Kate. She is fantastic!!!!! A short, sweet, honest person who exemplifies the definition of good breeding and propriety. I am also happy to find that she is not a complete prude, as once feared, but also enjoys the more crude side of private conversation. She is eager to learn such crude English from me, and I'm happy to report she is already and accomplished student!
I have been able to get the ball rolling towards a more personal relationship with many of my other co-teachers (I have 7 in total), but one in particular I was very nervous about. When I first met Mr. Park I was quite taken aback by his serious countenance and quite manner. I never saw him smile and he always looked grim. Being a naturally jolly person (at least I try to be...) I was immediately uncomfortable around him, and was terrified that my ease and joking with the students would be seen by him in a negative light. Within my first few weeks here Mr. Park took over my class and began to do rote memory work and speaking drills with the students, with myself seemingly transformed into a human parrot. The students were bored, as was I, and their lack of attention and constant falling asleep obviously irritated Mr. Park. It was during once such class that nearly every student's head was laying on the tables that Mr. Park, in dejected frustration, approached me saying, "I can do
nothing with them! The rest of class is yours!" And he sat down at the back of the class fuming.
Having 15 minutes left in the class, and suddenly given the burden of filling the time, I clapped my hands to rouse the students and they immediately sat up attentively. Luckily, I had over prepared materials so I showed them a short clip of the Simpsons (it was relevant to the lesson, I swear!) and had them do a class quiz. The day was saved and the class ended with the students actually alert rather than walking out of class like zombies.
Naturally, I was worried about how the rest of my time at the school would be like with Mr. Park. Then, suddenly, one day he approached me and talked kindly about how he wanted to run the classes. Two weeks his way, and two weeks my way. It was fair and I agreed. Since then we have communicated better and understood each other a little more. A breakthrough came when I made a joke in class the other week and he laughed himself silly over it. He also asked my help once or twice with a minor grammatical issue, and has requested for me to send him my power points at the beginning of the week so he can be up to speed with what I'm doing.
But today was much better!!! After class, Mr. Park approached me about helping him formulate a difficult question for the upcoming mid-term. We sat down together for 30 minutes and came up with an excellent question. We also had a small conversation in which I got to know him a bit more. I discovered that he is not a certified teacher yet, but is working on his degree. He is also a former travel agent and like myself enjoys traveling and talking about it. He even told me that he'd be happy to help me outside of school, and if I ever wanted to go to Seoul he would be happy to show me around if I wished. He finished by thanking me profusely for my help, to which I responded that I was always here for him and the other teachers if there was ever a question.
So...I've made great headway with Mr. Park!!!! Or rather, he's made great headway with me. I am not worried about my future classes with Mr. Park anymore. I'm establishing good relationships with those around me and I'm more optimistic about my future at this school that I was at the beginning...
My current residence is Siheung, a small region in Gyeonggi-do, the province that surrounds the cities of Incheon and Seoul. I live in a small neighborhood called Janggok-dong. It's more of a little town really, but don't let the size fool you. It has plenty of restaurants, bars, noraebong (karaoke rooms) and coffee shops. It also has martial arts hagwons for such things as taekwondo and kumdo. I'm quite happy with it because there's just enough to do and I'm surrounded by countryside.
My school is nice sized with around 1,000 students. So far I have established a universal likability among the students, even those whom I don't directly teach. I have also proven my amiable personality to my Korean co-teachers, and the word has spread to those teachers who do not speak English that I am a good person and teacher, easy to get along with and talk to. I have especially developed a rapport with my main co-teacher, the one assigned to ensure my well-being and legal requirements, named Kate. She is fantastic!!!!! A short, sweet, honest person who exemplifies the definition of good breeding and propriety. I am also happy to find that she is not a complete prude, as once feared, but also enjoys the more crude side of private conversation. She is eager to learn such crude English from me, and I'm happy to report she is already and accomplished student!
I have been able to get the ball rolling towards a more personal relationship with many of my other co-teachers (I have 7 in total), but one in particular I was very nervous about. When I first met Mr. Park I was quite taken aback by his serious countenance and quite manner. I never saw him smile and he always looked grim. Being a naturally jolly person (at least I try to be...) I was immediately uncomfortable around him, and was terrified that my ease and joking with the students would be seen by him in a negative light. Within my first few weeks here Mr. Park took over my class and began to do rote memory work and speaking drills with the students, with myself seemingly transformed into a human parrot. The students were bored, as was I, and their lack of attention and constant falling asleep obviously irritated Mr. Park. It was during once such class that nearly every student's head was laying on the tables that Mr. Park, in dejected frustration, approached me saying, "I can do
nothing with them! The rest of class is yours!" And he sat down at the back of the class fuming.
Having 15 minutes left in the class, and suddenly given the burden of filling the time, I clapped my hands to rouse the students and they immediately sat up attentively. Luckily, I had over prepared materials so I showed them a short clip of the Simpsons (it was relevant to the lesson, I swear!) and had them do a class quiz. The day was saved and the class ended with the students actually alert rather than walking out of class like zombies.
Naturally, I was worried about how the rest of my time at the school would be like with Mr. Park. Then, suddenly, one day he approached me and talked kindly about how he wanted to run the classes. Two weeks his way, and two weeks my way. It was fair and I agreed. Since then we have communicated better and understood each other a little more. A breakthrough came when I made a joke in class the other week and he laughed himself silly over it. He also asked my help once or twice with a minor grammatical issue, and has requested for me to send him my power points at the beginning of the week so he can be up to speed with what I'm doing.
But today was much better!!! After class, Mr. Park approached me about helping him formulate a difficult question for the upcoming mid-term. We sat down together for 30 minutes and came up with an excellent question. We also had a small conversation in which I got to know him a bit more. I discovered that he is not a certified teacher yet, but is working on his degree. He is also a former travel agent and like myself enjoys traveling and talking about it. He even told me that he'd be happy to help me outside of school, and if I ever wanted to go to Seoul he would be happy to show me around if I wished. He finished by thanking me profusely for my help, to which I responded that I was always here for him and the other teachers if there was ever a question.
So...I've made great headway with Mr. Park!!!! Or rather, he's made great headway with me. I am not worried about my future classes with Mr. Park anymore. I'm establishing good relationships with those around me and I'm more optimistic about my future at this school that I was at the beginning...
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